Monday, January 19, 2009

And you want us to have children?

My piece in the Standard today, as Research Director of the Lion Rock Institute.


And you want us to have children?

As a 31-year-old male born and raised in Hong Kong, I am at a stage in life and mind where one could say I am seeking to "settle down." Be a family man. Embrace the future with a vote in confidence by securing a partner, who shares my desire to have children.

This yearning, I am sure, is shared by many in my demographic. Yet, great apprehension overrides and hesitation grips. No doubt, there will be some who blame such apprehension on the fickleness of our generation. We grew up in relative prosperity and never seem to want the challenges of great responsibilities, especially one as great as raising a family. As a member of the aforementioned generation, I'm the first to admit that it is indeed because of fickleness that we remain apprehensive.

If the root cause was only as simple as fickleness by nature, I have no grounds for anger. But the fickleness unfortunately stems from forces not in our hands.

All parents when holding their child, though, always dream of greatness, hope at the very least their children will become productive members of society. Hope they would able to take care of themselves and not burden others.

Knowing this, individuals of our generation, especially when courtship begins, are nevertheless without hope...

Continued here...


  1. Very well-said piece, Mr. Shuen.

    Yet this cannot justify your own "fickleness by nature", I'm afraid.

    How many times have you told a woman that you wanted to have babies with her?

    But you change mind before dawn.

  2. Totally agreed with Anonymous

  3. 溝女的最高深境界就係話俾個女人聽:「我只係想溝妳容乜易,但係我唔係想咁囉...我想揾個女人係同我生仔嗰種呀!」講到差啲連自己都呃埋添!



  4. Easy boys...

    Is it so bad that a man thinks about kids?

    And if he can't see a future yet with a or any woman about raising a family, that he pulls out before mistakes are made?

    We have to be responsible to the woman we are with. And sometimes, walking away is the most responsible thing to do.

  5. "And if he can't see a future yet with a or any woman about raising a family, that he pulls out before mistakes are made?"

    Double entendre.

  6. Why is my prose parsed as if I was pre-tsunami Alan Greenspan?

  7. If we were to look at it from the counter-spin perspective, it's actually quite a good example. By publishing this article, pakman receive confirmation from unidentified "victims" that they did fall for it. It proves nothing but his way works.

    SPM, you are now officially a kull nui master. your "slippery" quality will only drives women more crazy trying to tame you.

    nicely spinned. nicely

  8. Hi C+, if you've ever been to a "victim" of this "kull nui master", I don't think you would appreciate Mr. Shuen like this.

    "walking away is the most responsible thing to do" - it reflects how irresponsible this man is.

    Maybe you two just deserve each other. Maybe.

    From the first anon.

  9. Yes first anon,

    Being stuck in a mutually loathing relationship is the responsible thing to do.

    A relationship that you, as the benchmark of moral responsibility must be stuck in.

    Explains the anger.

    Hope no kids are involved.

    If no kids are involved? For you own mental health... WALK AWAY...

  10. 關鍵可能係: 你有否想清楚才去開始一段關係?

    還是,純粹因生理需要,一開始就凡是女人皆hot hot hot,上咗才算,仲要自我辯護說「唔上過點知啱唔啱」,完事過後,以「沒長久發展不如係咁完」;仲要加上一副「我飛你只為你好啫」。咁唔通個女人好話唔好聽俾你趙完,兼飛完,仲要多謝你肯飛佢?仲要多謝你飛得佢早,當幫忙佢?



  11. "孫先生,咁我哋咪要代表全港俾你飛過嘅女人感激你?仲問你點解飛佢哋得遲?


    Absolutely agree.

  12. Fortunately I'm not stuck in a "mutually loathing relationship".

    'coz the man, just like you Mr. Shuen, "responsibly" walked away not long after we'd become intimate.