Sunday, April 05, 2009

'The War at Home' by Chip Tsao 陶傑

The War at Home

by Chip Tsao 陶傑

The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen onboard. We can live with that-—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people.

The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That's no big problem-—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.

But hold on-—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary.

This is beyond reproach.

The reason: There are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as HK$3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong.

As a nation of servants, you don't flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.

As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture.

I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell everyone of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China.

Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day.

With that money, she would pay taxes to her Government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.

Oh yes. The Government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East.

They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher.

Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout 'China, Madam/Sir' loudly whenever they hear the word "Spratly".

They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, "Long live Chairman Mao!" at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution.

I’m not sure if that's going a bit too far, at least for the time being.



陶傑就加多句:「唔好話本台,嘉賓意見甚至不代表嘉賓立場...」How you say that in Tagalog/English/Spanish?



  1. 其實陶傑唔使道歉吖


  2. Clearly he knew what would happen... Those poor guys in the LegCo should learn la...
    There is no need to use foul languages to scold those Commdogs
    "As a patriotic Chinese man" hehe, he MUST be one

  3. 你溝到三萬港女喎,你勁D

  4. 我都覺得佢唔使道歉喎!佢原意唔係要捍衛國家領土完整嗎?做乜因為個人得失而向敵人低頭呢?

  5. I saw the long march by Philippine's maid yesterday(April 4) and I have talked to them heart to heart. Sad to say, this statement of Tsao has been read differently both by either Philippians or Chinese.

    This statement is about two countries not about a maid and her employer, and I think between Tsao and his maid has been carried out by their nationalism. In my opinion, if there is a war at home should be solved at home, you don't need to hurt the nations feeling. writing is sharper than a knife.

  6. 言論自由!!!

  7. You may have the right and the freedom to offend people, but is it wise to offend people?

    If there is a war at home, it should be resolved in the bedroom.