Sunday, May 17, 2009

壹潛艇

二戰後,蘇聯突然發覺自己最大敵人嘅源頭,已從歐洲變成花旗國。角力場地由自己周邊地方,一下子擴大至全世界。

蘇聯領導知道要喺世界呢個舞台贏,就要得海洋控制權,或起碼唔畀花旗國玩晒。所以決定可以射導彈嘅潛艇,係保國唯一出路。

因地理問題,唔好話潛艇隊,蘇聯當時連海軍都冇乜,根本冇「行內人」去設計新潛艇。咁點呢?蘇聯搵咗設計米格戰鬥機班「外行人」去設計潛艇。

當時無論咩國嘅潛艇設計,都係抄第一次世界大戰德軍U Boat潛艇。


German U Boat Design

不過蘇聯班設計師冇包袱,重新諗點做,炮製出順水好多嘅「淚珠形管道」設計,外行人永遠改變咗潛艇嘅形狀,令蘇聯潛艇被各國尊重。



USSR Tear Drop Submarine Design

如果歷史改寫又點?假設蘇聯總書記都好信「潛艇係唯一出路」論,亦肯傾國傾城去做,落order要喺某時限內見到隊潛艇每日發射40枚導彈。

外行領導盞撞板

不過總書記唔熟水性,連水都唔游(話唔啱自己feel),但就對潛艇設計過程非常hands on。

有次開會仲話:「我唔要啲潛艇密封。」
班設計師諗:「會漏水死人,唔掂架。」
但只得一個敢話:「其他國家潛艇都係密封喎。」個設計師被即時派去西伯利亞,之後冇人敢講:「唔掂架。」

最後,有個盡忠嘅軍官接手,成功製造日射40枚導彈嘅冇密封潛艇隊。

不過潛艇落水冇耐,總書記問軍官:「點解我哋啲潛艇冇潛過?又未出過港口。點解敵人仲喺度?啲導彈冇摧毀佢哋咩?」
軍官諗:「你話要射,冇話要中。」
但開口答:「總書記,我哋fine tune緊架嘞……」

12 comments:

  1. 其實潛艇設計同飛機好多相同的地方,飛機飛行在空氣中同潛艇在水中都會用流體力學計算阻力,同樣飛機同潛艇都要蜜封機身,而呢D工程好多都是物理學都有,而且蘇聯D工程都是一流,好多時美國的工程都會去蘇聯學習。PS:中國都唔小。

    ReplyDelete
  2. to anon...

    Kinda like Newspaper people developing TV products.

    Newspaper ppl can bring breakthrough perhaps.

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  3. I think the breakthrough stuff can only apply to those ppl who are really really really confident to their skills. (maybe proud of themselves.)

    If not, the naive bomber ppl(NBV) will only strictly follow the rules from the submarine ppl. But the skills of NBV are just amateur.

    That is the worst case.

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  4. 仲乜你連荒木茂戴Bra係32B你都知?莫非你親身驗正過?
    Hor Hor Hor

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yo Kreme...

    I agree.

    Therefore we have to ask, but who shot the confidence out of those bomber designers?

    ReplyDelete
  6. just like now silicon valley ppl designing new car^^

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  7. Like Better Place, Tesla et al?

    ReplyDelete
  8. 如來神掌!!! 專殺 "獨沽" 港交所.
    超級大散户正等(死)!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. 學生哥...

    So have you bought 388 calls/bulls? Or even the stock itself?

    Or are you some chicken little blog spammer that spouts BS because of an imbalance in hormones.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sorry! we haven't any 388 calls/bulls!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. "陰陽" " 太極 "
    凡事都要睇兩面,大户好似未做完嘢!
    所以温馨提示!破110 就大零樂...
    我哋好朋友嗎? 係你粉史!!!
    最後都是你勝利, 6月啦

    ReplyDelete