Thursday, February 09, 2012

One Kong Girl at a time

My column at Apple Daily today

前晚,孫柏文有幸被邀到葉潔馨同香樹輝每年一度嘅春茗馨香宴。席上有好多前輩,我獲益良多,例如老總沙膽虹、青姐胡孟青同埋八達通嘅左丁山叔叔。最令我感動,就係前輩們都有關心我嘅近況,而我亦好誠實咁答:「依家冇嘢做,時間多咗好多,所以走去為齊家出力。以前打電話俾女仔約食飯,唔係佢呢日唔得,就係我嗰日要做節目。依家就唔同,我可以做到倪震嘅KPI,打電話來我十五分鐘就到。」

咁啱,我就喺一次約會中同一名靚港女喺尖東海旁傾計,因為勝在嗰到冇香港人認得我。因佢喺約會前Google過我個名,所以知我有個blog,亦有睇我啲post,就問:「點解你個post話我哋呢啲八十後,要求『B&O平權』就係naive?關電視係平嘅咩事?」

我:「嗰個係Bang and Olufsen,我講嘅係BN(O),護照呀。」咁個女仔就好似好明咁點頭,話:「哦......」因為知道佢有嚴重職業病,唔識都舢舨充砲艇,我就問:「咁妳都有本,BN(O)嗰三個英文字母代表啲咩?」港女:「吖吖British吖,唔知。」

嗰刻,諗住成晚流流長,就睇吓件港女對呢啲話題嘅耐性有幾多,佢嘅好奇心有幾強。咁講到大英帝國對殖民地人民意願嘅尊重程度有出入,我就想先同佢講英揆金馬倫啱啱講點對福克蘭群島。當然,費事佢有嘢唔明跟唔到個story,我就問佢啲最基本嘅嘢,先來係知唔知福克蘭群島喺邊。

佢話唔知,咁我就攞部手機出來,開Google Map,跟住狂zoom out至見到世界地圖。我用手指撥去大西洋後,就俾佢睇部機嘅畫面,開始話福克蘭群島喺阿根廷對出。不過我一開口,又見佢點頭扮晒明咁話:「哦。」我就問:「唔講福克蘭群島同阿根廷住,妳知唔知英國喺邊?不如指俾我睇。」原來係唔知。

算,有如千禧年代拒接受OBE銜頭嘅人兄話齋,都冇empire,有如英國嘅小國,港女真係可能唔知喺邊。咁為建佢嘅信心唔好吓吓唔識,我就zoom in到北美問:「美國呢?」佢好有自信咁指住畫面話:「呢度囉。」我答:「呢個係加拿大喎。」咁我指住阿拉斯加問佢,佢話:「呢個唔係美國,因為我知美國喺加拿大南邊。呢個應該係墨西哥!」

聽到呢到我就話:「係呀,所以當好多墨西哥人湧入美國生仔,美國人同我哋香港人一樣話北方飛來蝗蟲,哎。」之後佢知我笑佢時,佢就話唔識係因為冇接觸,學校冇教,返工冇用等等。

咁大家可能會問,呢件港女咩料?佢咪就係友報《信報》裡最鍾意女神化嘅港女囉,靚、「talk得」、月薪直迫六位數、後生、跨國銀行做,最諷刺嘅地方係佢間行嘅總部喺倫敦,所以我問:「如果妳它朝做咗銀行話事人,啲手下話邊到邊到出事,妳會點呀?」

女性嘅內心世界當然係我弱項,不過拯救港女係我哋港男應做嘅事,one Kong girl at a time。

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後記:SNB blogger 牛頭角陳冠希對我以上篇文有見解...

講真, 靚嘅港女根本唔需要有學識, 靚就有人要啦 --- 呢個係社會現實.

談心唔應該談對手唔識嘅話題, 否則就搞到人地好唔好開心或者自卑. 作為一個吹得之人, 你應該收聲, 俾佢開話題, 否則只係自說自話, 一啲情趣都無. 咩福克蘭群島同大英帝國, 根本唔會係港女想講嘅話題.

佢嘅結論係...呢到有得睇

6 comments:

  1. these are very unfair accusations on Kong Girls. :)

    1) she might not have taken these BNO shits like u people. either pure breed SAR OR bastards like genuine UK passport holders. why would they care about these shits?

    2) ..之後佢知我笑佢時,佢就話唔識係因為冇接觸,學校冇教,返工冇用。....未溝過識地理既仔! so it is eventually the faults of kong buys!



    p.s. please change the color scheme of your blog, white over black is impossible to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1) She is definitely pure breed HK.

      2) And yes, I agree that Kong girl behaviour is totally a reflection of Kong guy's soft bigotry of low expectations of them.

      p.s. How old are you my friend? Your eyes old flower?

      Delete
    2. "未溝過識地理既仔".. 老孫你要加油仲有大把處於水深火熱既港女!

      Delete
  2. 咦?o岩我播!肥孫,可唔可以介紹佢俾我認識?哈哈!

    ReplyDelete